In my travels in the blogishere, I come across significant others eating garbage/carbage foods in front of their supposed loved one. Now if you are a significant other and see your partner losing weight, regaining their health, being happier, more energetic wouldn't you at least have the courtesy to eat somewhat like them when you are actually eating with them? You could always revert to eating garbage at other times if that is what you prefer to do.
I am a zero tolerance person I'm afraid. If my partner didn't respect my wishes they would know about it. Yes I'm a dictator and maybe that explains why I'm single, lol. But I believe in this way of eating so much that I figure anyone would benefit from eating this way. I can't see myself hooking up with a vegan for example.
Dictatorships aside, it all boils down to respect. If your partner is struggling with weight and health issues, it's only a matter of respecting their choices and not trying to derail them.
Funny you bring that up. My take is, I've explained all the health benefits of why I eat the way I eat. I buy enough to make it for us, and often do. But he's a grown man, and he makes his own decisions. I would no more force my choices on him, than I would allow him to force HIS choices on me. We respect each other. It came up this morning when he said, "you don't eat butter or margerine anymore, do you?" I said no, since I prefer my veggies raw, and don't eat baked potatoes or grains anymore, actually, no I don't eat butter or margerine anymore! He said 'then I think I'm going back to "So I Can't Believe it isn't Butter Light" then. I said, 'awww, I wish you wouldn't. Butter actually is healthier for you! (I had switched us to butter when I went primal.) He said "we'll see." But it's his choice. I respect that.
ReplyDeleteBut you see, he isn't trying to derail me, and I'm NOT struggling with diet, weight, or health issues anymore. I'm totally solid in my primal ways, and it doesn't bother me in the least (other than I am concerned about his long term health, but he's 16 years younger than me.) He said, re the margerine, 'it's not killed me yet', to which I replied "that's the problem with that kind of shit. It's the incidious killing that is the problem. It gets you slowly."
All I can do is try to gently educate him. He is a grown man and makes his own decisions for him. And he's not trying to sabotage me. He doesn't say 'want a bite of this' or 'don't you miss this'. That would be sabotage.
Just another view. :)
That's great and I knew nothing about your partner before so the post wasn't about you specifically. But it sounds like you have support there and I'm glad.
DeleteHi Horf
ReplyDeleteAs you may know I am not a diabetic and neither do I have weight problems. I guess you could say I'm lucky. My other half does have Type 2 diabetes and I am with you when you say, if a partner is struggling with weight or health problems why not help and support them by eating the same foods. Not all do agree, and it does come down to individual choice, but it just seems so obvious to me to support your partner.
All the best Jan
You are a gem and it makes sense to me too.
DeleteMy husband is concerned that I am not eating the "balanced diet",and from time to time annoys me like hell. He doesn't need severely restrict his carbs like me. I commented many times that LC diet is great for the situations when it is not the all family members diet (unlike food reward). I cook for both of us and just skip starches. His main complain - nowadays we eat less often (too times a day, no evening tea with sweets).
ReplyDeleteAhha, he fell for that propaganda huh? Balanced diet? lol
DeleteLots of people have. I don't think mankind ever had a balanced diet. If you lived up north you ate meat and fat almost year round. If you lived on an island in the pacific you ate lots of fish and fruit. In the desert lands you were a nomad and kept goats for food and milk. Can't see much gathering in the desert. A "balanced diet" is something made up here in North America just recently.
It is even worse. His company hired "specialists" who are supposed to help to reduce the healthcare expenses by enrolling employees into a healthy life style program. You know - more fruits and vegetables, eat less, move more, park as far as you can. So it is the propaganda delivered by professional dietitians.
DeleteMy husband believes people with a degree because he is a specialist with PHD himself, and encounters some street-smart arrogance all the time.
I work with a lot of PhD's (in Education). It's difficult to dismiss or distrust or not respect another PhD or another degree (even in Nutrition) because if you do then it's like your degree is worthless. It's difficult for them, and I understand where your husband is coming from. At the same time, if you are an intelligent person, then you should keep an open mind and realize that if you are an engineer you can't work with the wrong information. If you are a nutritionist, you can be taught the wrong information and the bridge will not collapse under you when you drive your car over it.
DeleteI noticed I placed my comment in a wrong place
Delete"I understand him too. Besides, it is harder to believe in something what is not supported by your own experience.
Probably, some day I will just have the some amount of carby side dish as him and then measure our blood sugars. He is not stupid after all."
Anyway, just yesterday we again had that maddening talk about him trying to go almost vegetarian for health reasons because he noticed some joints pain and think it may be purines in animal products causing it . His PHD is in chemistry, and whatever arguments I provide about going at least bread free , are viewed as a street-smart grade of arguments.
My position on it is - a person has a right to eat any diet he considers healthy unless he is forcing others to do the same. If my husband decides to limit red meat or butter or salt - I will give him such food because it is me who is cooking and buying groceries. I will find a way to accommodate my needs as well.
I found this really good article about gout. Maybe you can get him to read it.
Deletehttp://chriskresser.com/will-eating-a-paleo-diet-cause-gout
I will try, his most respected internet resource is Wiki.
Delete@Galina, as a chemist, your husband must know that starch breaks down into sugar. FWIW, carb indulgence makes my left shoulder hurt, and one of my dance teachers says sugar makes her knee hurt. And check this out: high fat meals are analgesic.
Deletehttp://high-fat-nutrition.blogspot.com/2007/12/high-fat-meal-is-analgesic.html
On a high fat diet, I didn't need anything stronger than ibuprofin when I fractured my arm and landed on my face on the sidewalk and broke a tooth. Didn't flinch when I had two shots in my gums at the oral surgeon. On a high-carb diet, at one point I had TMJ so bad that I couldn't sleep at night.
I wish my father felt as you do. He's always trying to push sweets on my diabetic mother. It's like living in a crack house for her.
ReplyDeleteOMG your poor mother. He's lucky he's not married to me. I'd be junking all the sweets and not in our garbage bins. He'd have to travel far and wide to find them.
DeleteLori,
DeleteI guess you are saying something to your dad. I wonder, how does he explain what he is doing? Diabetes complications are not a joke.
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DeleteHe's diabetic, too, and eats sweets all day. I've talked to him, but he doesn't think I know anything. As I said...crack house.
DeleteLori: I don't know what to say. I suppose just enjoy the time you have left with them.
DeleteMy husband doesn't have a weight problem and no diabetes but in support of me he is eating what I'm eating too (wheat free). I wouldn't expect him to do that but just does because he wants me to not feel alone and have to cook more than one type of meal. Like Gwen says it has to be their choice and all we can do is given them the information. Interestingly my hubby says he hasn't felt better since we changed our diets :)
ReplyDeleteI think that's where the love part shines through: love, support, respect.
Delete